Sorrows that the eye can't see

By Allie D.

I grew up with a very handicapped older brother. Taking care of him was draining in every way--physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. I spent many days very burnt out from caring for him. He died this past August, after 27 years of struggle.

Caring for my brother taught me many things, but one of the most important things is this: you never know what burdens your neighbor is carrying.

Or, to put it in the words of a hymn, "In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see."

I used to look in the mirror every morning in high school as I got ready for the day and think: this is the face of someone suffering with dramas that most people can't even imagine. Would anyone ever guess? Or would they be too busy judging the acne and the frizzy hair and braces and the pudge and not even care that underneath all that, there is a little girl who comes home and cries about her dying brother? Would anyone ever just look at me and know that every moment, there is a weight on my heart?

And as I got older, I realized it wasn't just me: everyone is suffering. Today they are suffering. Everyone is hiding sorrows that the eye can't see. Everyone has struggles that the rest of us couldn't even begin to guess at.

That man sitting next you on the bus? Maybe his daughter just died. Maybe he just lost his job. Maybe his wife just left him. Maybe he just saw his first gray hair and for the first time recognized his own mortality.

The teenager who got your order wrong at the ice cream shop? Maybe he just got the worst grade of his life. Maybe his parents are in the middle of a nasty divorce. Maybe he got rejected from his dream college. Maybe he's depressed because he doesn't have a girlfriend.

The woman eating alone at the cafe? Maybe she was just diagnosed with cancer. Maybe she just went through another miscarriage. Maybe she just had another horrible first date and thinks she'll never get married, ever.

We can't even begin to guess what sorrows those around us are carrying. Even those we know best are harboring sorrows that we may never know.

Consider the Holy Bible's teachings in 1 John 3:16-19:

16 Hereby perceive we the ^alove of ^bGod, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 

17 But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his ^abrother have^bneed, and ^cshutteth up his bowels of ^dcompassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

18 My little children, let us not love in word, ^aneither in tongue; but in ^bdeed and in truth. 

19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.

In Mosiah 2:17, from the Book of Mormon, King Mosiah taught that "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God."

Our brothers have need. Our fellow beings need our love and understanding. How "dwelleth the love of God" in those who have no compassion for those around them?

All of us have trials, trials that not even our closest friends on earth can understand. That's why we owe it to ourselves and to each other to reach out in kindness to everyone around us. I say this as someone who needs to work on this. But I know that every day, as we exercise our charity by stretching out our hands to those around us who are quietly struggling, we grow closer to Jesus Christ.

Were you ever surprised by the burden someone else was quietly carrying? What are ways we can reach out to help bear one another's burdens? How do you reach out to those around you? Have you ever yearned for someone to reach out to you?