Essays on Journeys Part 2: Getting the Assignment

By E. B.

I left my nanny position for many reasons, but essentially because I didn't like how I felt when I was in that house. The list could start and go on and on, but if I were to pinpoint one reason, right now, I would say it was whenever my boss would say, "but that's what nannying/children/the world/life is/are/do." None of those things are a reason I do anything, nor is it a reason I should do anything. So I left, with the hope that I could find something better. And for the record, ANYTHING pays better than that gig.

It started with a need. I had a material need of money. I had a little tiny bit of savings, and had been applying and interviewing for the next job. I'd really like to be able to settle. To be here. My days of chasing things behind me. Build a life. Have a family.

As the days of rejection rolled on, I began to realize I needed some help. With General Conference days away, I added this need to my prepared list of things I wanted an answer for. Did I believe a general authority was going to say where I should get a job? No. But I knew that if I didn't ask, I couldn't fault the Lord by not answering. I asked, hoping and expecting Him to give me something to work with.

After the Saturday sessions I had all my initial questions answered...except this money question. I finished the sessions hopeful that Sunday would bring more answers, and opened my email to find a rather random invitation from my aunt in California to come work for a resort nearby her home that she had noticed was hiring seasonal help. Was I interested? Of course I was. I wasn't so daft not to realize an answer to prayer.

I did a little digging and realized there was more leg work to this answer. My aunt didn't know more about the job(s) than what she had initially told me, and California is a really long way to go for not even a maybe seasonal position. I felt confused--not a stupor of thought confused. Just confused. So I went to the temple, and I felt reassured that California was my answer.

I sent of my resume and a great cover letter and prayed and hoped...and nothing. Meanwhile other, really great opportunities opened up here, and staying here and working and settling down makes sense. California, as right as it felt, just does not make sense.

Here's the thing: this is not my first rodeo. Nor is it the first time I have picked up and moved based on feeling like I should be elsewhere. While I have grown spiritually each time, and have come away with a clear understanding of what I gained in said move, it does not look good on paper, and it makes it really hard to find a decent paying job. It also makes it hard to have a stable, healthy relationship.

Here is another thing: When I was 19 and seeking direction, I received the first of many strongly worded blessings from a dear home teacher, advising me that even Abraham wandered before finding eternal life. That is not what a 19 year old wants to hear, and then, like now, leaving where I was and the plan I had, did not make sense.

I fasted, wanting to feel sure about it. Following the fast, the resort called back, wanting more information on my availability. Even then, without a job offer, it doesn't make sense to me. And I told the Lord that. I told him I wasn't going. I was going to stay and try to make this work. Because that makes sense to me.

He made things really hard really fast at that point. I was plunged into a little hell of my own making, to which I came out tired and sobbing and a red, puffy mess. And also significantly humbled and chastened. I decided I needed a blessing, and in my raw and bitter, maybe even still bleeding state, my bishop laid his hands on my head and gave the word-for-word direct order that I should go to California. And the special reminder that even Abraham wandered before finding eternal life.

So, off I go. To California. Because the Lord told me to. A new adventure awaits!

Find Part 1 of this essay here.

Essays on Journeys, Part 1: Basic Foundations

By E. B.

Recently, a close, loved one expressed to me the belief that the Lord does not tell us to do the same things He has asked those in the scriptures.

He does. In fact, He tells us almost the EXACT same things. Because the gospel does not change, and neither does His love and knowledge of us.

I find that this is a common belief, both among the religious and the nonreligious. While it is becoming less and less of a challenge for me to question the direction I receive from the Lord, I find that those around me, ranging from the very close to the very distant, struggle to believe I'm not completely insane. Or those who think I am truthful, wonder: why doesn't He talk to ME like that?

The Lord speaks to us as we would understand, and He gives it to us line upon line, precept upon precept. So, here is a list of base-work truths that need to be in place.

1. You have to be willing to ask Him. See James 1:5.

2. You have to believe He will answer. This is a little more complicated to understand, but our dear friend Elder Bednar sheds some light on how really do this in his April 2008 General Conference talk, "Ask in Faith."

3. He doesn't give us things to do that are beyond our capabilities, but a lot of those capabilities are dependent on restraints we have set on our selves. The Lord is not limited to what we say He is, but we are limited when we limit our faith. He doesn't need you to do what He wants, but it is a blessing for you to get a special part in His great big plan---even if that role is not what we consider big or special. You limit yourself when you say no, or when you say it cannot be done.

Tip to the wise: Don't be rude to someone you are asking things from. That is just logic and common sense. Also, note that pain and anger, especially during trials, are understandable--and I would expect the Lord understands who will have what reactions to what life brings. However, He absolutely does not tolerate rebellion.

I say all of this because I am about to embark on a journey that does not necessarily have an end, that began with a question about money. I prayed about it, and while I prepared for this year's April General Conference, I threw it on the list of things I expected/hoped/wanted to get from the meeting.  I am going to California...for the summer...I think. None of it makes a ton of sense, and I don't actually have all the pieces of what the plan is. But because I know, without a doubt that I am embarking to California on a journey of which the Lord is sending me, I go.

For anyone who really wants the exact details, see my next post, entitled "Essays on Journeys, Part 2: The Assignment."

My grandmother's faith was beautifully simple and simply beautiful.

By M.A.

I learned prayer from my maternal grandmother.

My grandmother had a 6th grade education, never left her birthplace, had a wonderful family, survived the great depression, a world war, and had gone blind in her early 20s. I was in my teens before I realized she was blind. I knew she could not see, but regarding her as blind, a word I associated with disability, never occurred to me. After all, she cooked the meals, sang songs, and ran the family budget. I asked her once why she handled the money instead of Grandpap. She laughed and said, "if he managed the money we would never have a savings." Then she gave me a lesson in mental math since of course she had no paper accounts.

I had the privilege of being her biographer and learning how she accomplished this with such grace. The answer was prayer. She prayed for a minimum of one hour a day, on her knees, her entire adult life. During those prayers she asked the Lord how to do what needed done.

She prayed and put out a stove fire before the fire department arrived.

She prayed and knew when her child needed a doctor.

She prayed and was a beloved wife.

She prayed and became an excellent cook.

In her mid-90’s, her son heard her moving about during the night. She was kneeling beside the bed at 4:00 am. Her son asked why she was up so early. She replied, "I thought it was morning so I was beginning my day." Children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, family, and friends all learned to ask Grandma to pray for them. She prayed for us by name and often called to tell us the results of her prayers. She had a direct line to Heaven and shared it with anyone in need. When she died I felt a measure of virtue leave my life.

Her testimony was as an apostle has summarized: the gospel of Jesus Christ is beautifully simple and simply beautiful.

God helped my 12-year-old find his iPod

By A. W.

One day my 12-year-old son was walking through the house looking for something. Opening and closing cabinets, picking up sofa cushions. Going in and out of the garage.

“What are you looking for?” I asked.

“My iPod,” he said.

“Did you pray about it?”

“Yeah, right,” he grumped and moved into the other room.

A while later he returned and repeated the seeking maneuvers: cushions up and down, rug lifted and replaced, drawers opened and shut.

“Still haven’t found it? Why don’t you pray about it?”

“No and no. Heavenly Father does not care if I find my iPod.”

I answered: “You’re right. Heavenly Father does not care if you find your iPod. But He does very much care about whether or not you’re happy. And He also appreciates chances to show you that He answers prayers.”

“Well, I’m not going to.”

“Okay, it’s your choice.”

Over the next few hours the door slamming and drawer shutting continued. The school backpack was emptied and repacked. The trash can was emptied and re-filled. The coat closet was turned inside out and reloaded. The iPod was not to be found. The seeker’s grumpiness increased.

“Do me a favor,” I asked. “Please, just go pray about it. You have already spent hours looking. Why not spend five minutes asking for help?”

“Fine,” he agreed at last and trudged up the stairs to his room. Six minutes later, he returned, iPod in hand.

“You found it!” I exclaimed. “Did you even have a chance to say your prayer?”

He sat down sheepishly. “I knelt down at my bed and bowed my head and from there I could see it jammed behind the bed. That is the only place I could have seen it.”

“So you didn’t pray after all?” I asked.

“Yes,” he answered, “I did. I wanted to tell Him thank you for His help.”

Image from lds.org.

Ask and it shall be given unto you; Seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be 

opened.

- Matthew 7: 7-8

"We are often amazed at how much Heavenly Father cares for us and wants us to be happy."

By Nayeli J. 

Whenever we have to make big important decisions, who do we turn to?  Who is always there to guide us if we want it?  

As a military family and parents of two with one on the way, we have had to make many important decisions in our life.  We are aware that the decisions we make could potentially make a big difference on the experiences that our family has, and ultimately on who we become.

Image from lds.org.

We always turn to the Lord in prayer, fasting, scripture study and also being sure to do our part (such as researching, talking to people with experience in that field, serving others, and renewing our covenants by partaking of the sacrament).

Our first move from out of college, was from Utah to Maryland, across the country.  As we looked for housing we enthusiastically and with faith included Heavenly Father in our decision making and tried our best to listen for guidance from Him through the Holy Ghost.

After much researching and talking to some students that had gone before us to this Medical School on base (USUHS), my husband flew out to find housing.  Taking lots of pictures and communicating with me over the phone, we felt that we should move to Germantown (about 20-30 min) north from the school.  Even though the commute would be longer than it could have been if we moved closer like most of my husband's colleagues we felt this was where we should be.  We only have one car, so my husband would have to take public transportation to leave me the car.

We knew that it was best for us to move here for a reason, but we weren't exactly clear on what that reason was.  We would be here for four years and we would make the best of it!  As we started our first year, I got to meet a group of LDS mothers whose husbands were in the same year and situation we were in.  They all lived pretty close to each other and a lot closer to the school. I was able to attend a couple of their get-togethers and they were great.  I desired to be a part of their group, however, the distance became an issue.  There was also a spouses and sweethearts club at the school for the wives of those in the military to support each other and attend activities.  We joined and attended a couple of times, but then as I became pregnant with my second child, it became increasingly difficult to be a part of.  I often wondered why we had felt that this was the best place for us live...

However, during this time, we started to make friendships in our church ward and also in our neighborhood.  The housing complex where we lived was away from traffic and looked over a large hill and artificial lake.  It allowed me to take my kids on exploration walks, to different parks at just a short distance and to enjoy swimming at our wonderful pool was just across the parking lot.  My husband and I joined the gym just a couple of blocks from where we lived and I have made great friendships there as well!  We have had many opportunities to share our testimony and what we believe in with people in our neighborhood like we had never imagined!  We have had so many opportunities to serve and be served by our neighbors and those around us. The callings we have received at church have really strengthened our testimony of Jesus Christ our Savior and our desire to do good.  We have received so much support from the members in our church as my husband has had to travel extensively his 3rd year in school.

 I personally have greatly enjoyed making friendships with the other mothers in the ward and have learned so much from their phenomenal example as righteous women.  As we begin to make plans for our next move, we know that this was the absolute perfect house and location for us at this time!  We are often amazed at how much Heavenly Father cares for us and wants us to be happy. Heavenly Father truly is there for us and if we strive to receive his guidance through the companionship of the Holy Ghost as we make life-changing decisions He will bless us.

Trust ye in the Lord forever: For in the Lord JEHOVAH is everlasting strength. 

- Isaiah 26:4