Mothers’ Day Confession

By Lydia R. Gettys

Prepare for a confession.  

I spent several years of motherhood completely despising Mother’s Day.  If asked, I really couldn’t put my finger on what it was that upset me.  Now I know.

First, it seemed to me that one out of 365 days was too slim a time frame to command respect and appreciation.  Thankfully, my dear son recently clarified this as a perception problem on my part.  In the same way we don’t confine our reverence for the Savior to Christmas and Easter, a mother’s children honor her throughout the year, using Mother’s Day as a special excuse to celebrate her.  Well put, and I appreciate his sentiment very much.

Second, and more troubling, is that Mother’s Day tributes tend to honor perfect mothers.  And, um . . . , I’m not perfect.  Are you?  The resulting effect for me was a heavy burden of guilt for not measuring up.  Despite having a clear understanding of individual worth and the Lord’s mercy as we strive to improve, I was bamboozled by the image of The Perfect Mother.  Does she really exist?  Well, more on that later.

Instead of focusing on the image, I needed to shift my focus to the pattern.  Show me a beautiful dress, ask me to make it, and it won’t get done.  Hand me the pattern, and I can get to work.  See the difference?  I am grateful that in these latter days, the Lord has revealed His pattern for families.  He lovingly accepts that not everyone has all the pieces, but will help us in our efforts to follow His instructions.  I love that!  Here are some good talks on patterns from General Conferences: Home and Family: A Divine Eternal Pattern; A Pattern in All Things; Strengthen Home and Family.

We each have our own set of experience, temperament, and skills as we work out our patterns.  No two families will turn out the same, yet each will turn out beautifully in the end.  Over the years, I have developed a firm testimony that family members are put together for good reasons.  No matter how you came into your family, or the trials you may have endured there, the Lord had His purposes to plant you where you could best grow.  

The other week I asked a friend to picture if her sister could have been raised by her mother-in-law, or her sister-in-law by her own mother.  No!  That was not at all possible.

Each mother possesses just the mix of abilities that the Lord intends her child to benefit from.  So, in that way, we are each The Perfect Mother, despite our flaws.   Believe it! Embrace it!  Trust your instincts on how to nurture your children.  Your particular talents, ways to teach, temperament, world view, education, etc. are just what they need, quirks and all.

There is no point in comparing myself to the mother being idolized at the pulpit or the mother in the next pew.  She has her assignment, and I have mine to prayerfully fulfill.  We cannot fairly judge one another, and that’s fine, because that job is already taken by the One who loves us all.

This year I will allow myself, warts and all, to bask in the celebration of my favorite job - Motherhood!