BEING THE GOOD: Seek to Serve

By Wendy K.

The night before my preschooler started school last fall my husband was giving him a Father’s

Blessing and I felt inspired to tell him something very specific. I told him there is one thing I want him to do above all else this year in school: Be a friend to everyone. I told him listening to the teacher is necessary, learning is important, but I will be most proud if that teacher reports that my little boy is a friend to everyone. My son is a good, friendly kid. I wasn’t worried he wouldn’t be kind, yet I felt very prompted that this is the lesson I need to teach my boys and it needs to start now. I felt the weight of my responsibility as a mother and the importance of this message. What matters most at the end of this life? Not school grades or worldly successes, but the way we treated God’s children. 

As Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” Be a friend to everyone. BE THE GOOD.

Fast forward a few months to Parent-Teacher Conferences. I hadn’t brought up “Be a Friend to Everyone” in a while and as I was leaving I casually asked my little boy if there was anything I should ask his teacher. He thought for a moment and said, “Mom, ask Mrs. L if I’m a friend to everyone.” I was so happy he’d internalized this concept. I asked Mrs. L. She acted a little surprised by the question, but then she told me, “Yes. He is.”

It’s easy to say it to your children, it’s harder to live it. A few weeks into the school year, a family showed up uninvited, unexpectedly at my doorstep during dinner. They were there to return dishes from a meal I’d bought them earlier in the week. That night I was busy. I had an appointment to get to. I was annoyed that they choose the dinner hour to pop over. I became further annoyed when somehow returning dishes led to them telling us they hadn’t yet had dinner that night and the next thing I knew they were at our kitchen table and I was feeding the six of them AGAIN. I was upset. I wasn’t prepared, we didn’t have enough food and this disruption was going to make me late.

As I fumed over the stove, figuring out how to make our meal stretch, I felt my son’s eyes on me and I remembered my own words: “Be a friend to everyone.” Everyone. It’s easy to be a friend to our friends and our loved ones. It’s harder to be a friend to those who upset you, offend you or do you wrong. How would I want my children to handle this situation? I would want him to share. I would want him to be a friend to everyone, regardless of how much it put him out. I needed to remember my own lesson. I needed to live it.

What does it mean to be a friend to everyone?

It's crazy what a little faith can do.

By Elder Brian

My grandma used to tell us grandkids stories about our ancestors that crossed the plains with the pioneers all the time when I was little. She would tell us about all the trials they went through as well as
all the amazing miracles they witnessed. One of these stories I would have my grandma tell me over and over again. It was my absolute favorite and it's the one I would like to share. It's about my Great
Great Grandma Mellor.

Great Grandma Mellor was going through a hard time before they even left England. She had just given birth to conjoined twins who had died just moments after birth and Grandma Mellor's health wasn't to great either. She was told by the captain of the ship that if she got on the boat to America that she would die and just become shark bait. Night came around and she was given a blessing that her and all of her family would make it to the Salt Lake Valley. She was then smuggled onto the ship and off they went.

Later in their trek to Zion the extremities were beyond comprehension. It was so cold at night that her children's braids froze to the ground and needed to be cut off in order to free the child. They were starving and freezing to death and yet they pressed on with faith.

from lds.org

Grandma Mellor couldn't make it any farther. She sat down on a rock kissed her husband and children good bye and cried. Her daughter Elizabeth Mellor could not stand the thought of leaving her mother behind for the wolves to devour. She turned around and ran back towards her mother. On her way she stopped and offered a prayer of thanks as well as asking for a miracle. She told God the situation and acknowledged that she could not do it herself. After she said amen, she got up and continued towards Grandma Mellor with faith that God would bless her and her mother with strength. On her way she found a fresh hot pie on the frozen snow. This was truly a miracle and a gift from God. She took the pie to her mother and it gave them the strength to press forward and the did so with faith. She and her entire family made it to the Salt Lake Valley.

It is clear that our Father in Heaven loves us and will take care of us as long as we have faith in Him. It's crazy what a little faith can do.

BEING THE GOOD: Lean Into Love

By Wendy K.

This is the second post in a series about "being the good." Read Part 1 here. 

HOW? How do we BE THE GOOD? Our family has broken this theme down into three areas. It’s become our family mission statement.

#1. Lean into Love

In happy times, in sad times, choose love.

“An old Cherokee told his grandson, “Son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy & truth.” The boy thought about it, and asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old man quietly replied, “The one you feed.”

My extended family had an experience last year that caused a lot of drama and pain and hurt feelings. We have reflected on this “wolf” concept. It’s tempting to be angry and bitter, especially when you are hurt. But you don’t heal that way. Good doesn’t win that way. The wolf you feed is the wolf that wins. Feed the good. BE THE GOOD.

Some say there are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Why not choose it’s all a miracle? It’s hard sometimes... to look on that bright side and see that cup as half full. It can be hard to count your blessings. But it works! It works every time I put it to the test. The best part? It’s contagious.

We started a new practice this year at our dinner table. Each night everyone gets a chance

to share their BEST of the day. “What’s the BEST thing that happened to you today?” My husband often comments this is his favorite part of the day. This is us, focusing on the love, identifying the blessings, feeding the GOOD.

I’m working on saying nice things. How simple does that sound? We often focus on keeping not

nice thoughts to ourselves. That’s important, and I need to work on that too, but what about the other side? I figured I probably only say 10% of the nice things I think about people. No more! If I think it and it’s nice, I try to say it. Shout compliments! Proclaim admirations! Spread love!

Social media is a great tool for this. Send a quick text right when you’re thinking of someone. You give someone a compliment on their wall on Facebook... not only does it bring the person joy, but other people see something GOOD in that person they might not have noticed. This too can be contagious as they can “like” or agree or want to leave a nice thought of their own on that wall or someone else’s. So often social media is a dumping ground. What if we used it as a place to spread GOOD news, spread love, share the gospel?

I like to keep it old school too, by sending cards and letters in the mail. I love mail! Who doesn’t love mail? I kicked off this goal by sending cards to three people (a relative, a family friend and a woman in the ward who I’ve decided is my local Yoda) telling them how something they said or did shaped me, inspired me and how I appreciate them. It’s brought me great joy to BELIEVE the good is out there. To look for GOOD in people and thank them for BEING THE GOOD.

How do you be the good?

Believe there is good in the world: be the good!

By Wendy K.

2012 was a difficult year for me. There were heartbreaking lows for myself, my family and my friends, not the least of which was my 2 1/2 year old nephew being diagnosed with leukemia. When the year wrapped up with a particularly horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I pretty much felt hopeless. My faith in the world and in humanity struggled to the point I did not BELIEVE THERE IS GOOD IN THE WORLD. I was too upset to BE THE GOOD. When I heard the news of the Connecticut shootings my first reaction was fear. I was afraid to send my kid to school. I was afraid to raise my kids. I was afraid of evil. Fortunately a second reaction came: don’t let fear win.

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” -- Isaiah 41:10

Truth and righteousness will prevail. We know that; we believe that. Now is the time more than ever to have faith in that, to seek that, to identify that and to live that.

We, as Latter-day Saints, BELIEVE THERE IS GOOD IN THE WORLD.

At the end of last year, I did a lot of thinking and praying about the state of the world and how I fit into it all... and how the gospel fits in and how I could do my part to make the world a better place for me and my children. Here’s what I came up with: I can’t stop violence. I can’t stop terrorists. I can’t stop cancer. I can’t control other people’s actions. What can I do? I can only control my reaction. And I can control my home. Isn’t so much of this about the breakdown of the family?

So I started thinking, “What does our home stand for? When our kids grow up and leave what do I want them to remember most about our family, our home, our message?” I wanted a family mission statement. I wanted a family theme. When I saw this message, I knew THAT’S what I want to teach my kids. THAT’S what I want to live. I want to have faith. I want to live righteously. I can’t keep my kids from school... or movie theaters... or marathons. But I can impact them in the home. That’s a place I have control over. That’s a place I can make a difference. That’s empowering. I can teach my children that THERE IS GOOD IN THE WORLD. I can teach them to BE THE GOOD.

It is no small task. And it is one that is never done.... which drives the “check things off your

list” part of me crazy. But it’s not something you do. It’s something you live. And guess what?

We can do it! We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us and we love Him and with Him all things are possible.

“We must never lose sight of the strength of the women. It is mothers who most directly affect the lives of their children. It is mothers who nurture them and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Their influence is paramount. They are the creators of life. They are the nurturers of children. They are the teachers of young women. They are our indispensable companions. They are our co-workers in building the kingdom of God. How great is their role, how marvelous their contribution.” – President Hinckley

We can do this.

This is the first of a series of blog posts about being the good in the world.

What my child's allergies taught me about God's love for His children.

By Corbin C.

My daughter, Colette, is 18 months old. About 6 months ago we discovered that she has quite a few food allergies. She’s allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, soy, dairy, and some beans and legumes. Our son, Daxton, who is 3 ½ will eat anything you put in front of him, and lots of things we don’t put in front of him, too. But one of his favorite snacks, like many kids, is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s hard for his sister to see him eating a delicious sandwich that she can’t have.

We tell Colette, “You can’t eat that. It will make you sick.” But of course she doesn’t understand; she’s only 18 months old. Our son has picked up on this exchange and he’s taken it upon himself to be the self-appointed enforcer of his sister’s dietary restrictions. He is pretty vigilant and I’ve been corrected more than once: “Dad, Colette can’t eat that. It has beans in it.”

However, as long as the list of foods Colette can’t eat already is, I noticed that according to our son, the list kept growing ever so slightly. First it was, “Colette can’t eat chocolate. It will give her a belly ache.” Then it was cupcakes that would make her sick. Finally our son declared that his sister was allergic to all desserts and if she ate them she might die. Smart kid. I’m only jealous that I didn’t think to tell my son HE was allergic to desserts first.

But there is an important lesson to learn from this experience. My daughter sees something that she thinks will taste good and she wants it. I as a parent know that if she eats that peanut butter, she will feel very sick. She could even have an anaphylactic reaction and without treatment she really might die. But she doesn’t know that; all she knows is that her brother is eating a delicious snack that she can’t have. I love both of my children equally, but in that moment, I can imagine my daughter is wondering why I would give her brother a delicious snack and deny her the same pleasure. How often do we forget that our Heavenly Father loves each of us equally as his children and he knows what is good for us better than we know ourselves?

We might consider the situation of a neighbor or friend and wonder why our Heavenly Father loves them more than us. But the truth is that he loves each of us more than we can comprehend and he knows exactly what we need in order to give us the best chance at growing and developing and one day becoming like Him.



In the spring of 1820, a young boy of 14 was curious to know which church he should be attending. He studied the scriptures regularly and found a passage in the New Testament that told him to pray and ask God. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5) That young boy, Joseph Smith, knelt in solemn prayer in a grove of trees to ask our Heavenly Father which church he should attend. In one profound moment, the heavens opened and the boy prophet saw God the Father, and Jesus Christ. In that moment, more light and knowledge regarding the existence and nature of God was poured out upon the earth than in all the many centuries since Christ walked the earth combined.

Elder Tad R. Callister taught:

When Joseph Smith emerged from the grove of trees, he eventually learned four fundamental truths not then taught by the majority of the contemporary Christian world. 

First, he learned that God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, are two separate, distinct beings. The Bible confirms Joseph Smith’s discovery. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son” (John 3:16). A father offering up his only son is the supreme demonstration of love that the human mind and heart can conceive and feel. It is symbolized by the touching story of Abraham and Isaac (see Genesis 22). But if the Father is the same being as the Son, then this sacrifice of all sacrifices is lost, and Abraham is no longer offering up Isaac—Abraham is now offering up Abraham.

The second great truth Joseph Smith discovered was that the Father and the Son have glorified bodies of flesh and bones. Following the Savior’s resurrection, He appeared to His disciples and said, “Handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have” (Luke 24:39). Some have suggested this was a temporary physical manifestation and that when He ascended to heaven He shed His body and returned to His spirit form. But the scriptures tell us this was not possible. Paul taught, “Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him” (Romans 6:9). In other words, once Christ was resurrected, His body could never again be separated from His spirit; otherwise He would suffer death, the very consequence Paul said was no longer possible after His Resurrection. 

The third truth that Joseph Smith learned was that God still speaks to man today—that the heavens are not closed. 

If God loves every one of his children equally, we can be sure that he will give us every aid and help that he gave to his children in centuries past. In days of old, the Lord called prophets to teach the people his gospel. Prophets like Isaiah, Moses, Abraham. The Lord gave them a special charge to teach the people his plan for them.

We know that the Lord still calls prophets in our day to preach his gospel and teach us his plan. In the Lord’s church today, just as anciently, establishing the doctrine of Christ or correcting doctrinal deviations is a matter of divine revelation. In the Bible we find the prophet Amos giving a profound truth: “Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets.” (Amos 3:7)

The fourth truth that Joseph Smith learned was that the full and complete Church of Jesus Christ was not then upon the earth. Of course there were good people and some components of the truth, but the Apostle Paul had anciently prophesied that the Second Coming of Christ would not come “except there come a falling away first” (2 Thessalonians 2:3).

The Lord called Joseph to restore upon the earth the same church that Christ had established when he walked with his apostles. The 6th Article of Faith states, “We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth. Through Joseph Smith, the Lord restored all the powers, keys, teachings, and ordinances necessary for salvation and exaltation.

Just as in 1820 when Joseph Smith was confused about which church was God’s true church, so today there exist a multitude of different religions and beliefs. There are those today that would say that all religions are equally right, that all paths lead to God. It is true that there are so many good people in all the wonderful religions of the world. And they do so much good in this world. They are serving the Lord according to their light and knowledge. All churches have some truth, and some of them have very much truth. We do not say they are wrong, only that they are incomplete. Our Heavenly Father would give them more. He hopes that they would seek further light and knowledge in whatever place they may find it. Through Joseph Smith and the restored gospel of Jesus Christ all the necessary principles and ordinances that are required for us to return to live with God after this life have been revealed.

Then there is, of course, the opposite view of those that would say all religions are right. They would say all religions are wrong together. I would urge anyone who might have that opinion to first, keep an open mind and an open heart, and second, ask in sincere prayer to God if he exists and if this is his true church. Once you have felt the comfort and peace that comes from the influence of the Holy Ghost, any doubt of the existence of God melts away in a profound experience that may not be easy to explain to others, but is no less real because of that. “…for the spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.” (1 Corinthians 2:10)

Another profound truth that was revealed in this dispensation through the prophet Joseph Smith is that of the gospel being preached to the dead in the spirit world to those who did not have a fair chance to hear it in this life. (D&C 128:5–22; see also D&C 138:30–34). This was not a new revelation; it was the restoration of a biblical truth. The apostle Peter had taught “For this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit” (1 Peter 4:6). Those who accept the gospel of Jesus Christ in the spirit world will have every blessing given to those who accepted and lived faithful lives here in mortality.

Again in Elder Callister’s words:

On occasion, some are willing to set aside the precious gospel truths restored by Joseph Smith because they get diverted on some historical issue or some scientific hypothesis not central to their exaltation, and in so doing they trade their spiritual birthright for a mess of pottage. They exchange the absolute certainty of the Restoration for a doubt, and in that process they fall into the trap of losing faith in the many things they do know because of a few things they do not know. There will always be some seemingly intellectual crisis looming on the horizon as long as faith is required and our minds are finite, but likewise there will always be the sure and solid doctrines of the Restoration to cling to, which will provide the rock foundation upon which our testimonies may be built. 

When many of Christ’s followers turned from Him, He asked His Apostles, “Will ye also go away?” 

Peter then responded with an answer that should be engraved on every heart: “To whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life” (John 6:66–68).

 Indeed, the words of Jesus Christ are the words of eternal life. His words can be found in the Holy Scriptures. Through the prophet Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ was translated.

Along with the Bible, the Book of Mormon is an indispensable witness of the doctrines of Christ and his divinity. As the Bible relates the events of Christ’s mortal ministry in Jerusalem, we know that the Book of Mormon relates the events of the ancient people on the American continent.

The Book of Mormon was written by ancient American prophets who testified of Christ’s coming just as the prophets of the Old Testament did. The Book of Mormon also highlights the coming of the Savior after his resurrection to the Nephite people. This second witness serves to confirm the truths taught in the Bible and establish the doctrines of Jesus Christ in a clear and complete manner.

Someday, my daughter Colette will understand English. At least that’s my hope. Then I will be able to explain to her that certain foods aren’t good for her. I’ll be able to reason with her. But for now, she has to go on faith that I will take care of her and do what’s best for her.

If any of you find yourself questioning your testimony or doubting that there is a loving Savior who has restored his true and living church again on the earth, then have faith for the moment. Search the scriptures diligently and learn of Him. Your spiritual vocabulary will slowly expand and you will begin to see the Lord’s hand in your life. You will begin to understand his wonderful plan for you and for all of His children. Pray sincerely and ask for that understanding. I know that the Lord lives and that through Joseph Smith He restored his church again on the earth. I know that a living prophet receives revelation and guides His church on the earth today. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Everything is going to be ok. And if it is NOT ok, THAT is ok, too.

By Emily W. 

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.”  Proverbs 3: 5-6

I don't know if anyone else does this, but I pray a lot in the car, while I'm driving. I guess because it is some of the only 'quiet time' I get. And around this time I was praying a lot because I was worried. I was pregnant with my third child and I just didn't 'feel pregnant' anymore. I didn't think I was as big as I had been. I remember trying to figure out if I should call my doctor and try to get in to see him sooner, but then thinking about how that was going to mess up the weekend with my in-laws who were visiting from out of town. I decided I was going to just wait until my appointment the next week, and I was going to 'not worry until they tell me there is something to worry about.'

And I had a clear answer. The thought came to my mind very clearly that "Everything is going to be ok. And if it is NOT ok, THAT is ok, too." 

The fact was, things were ‘not ok.’ At my doctor’s appointment that next week we found out our baby had died in utero. I was admitted to the hospital and induced, and, three days later I delivered our stillborn son, Gabriel. 

Looking back, I see so many blessings a loving Heavenly Father provided for me to get through this horrible time of my life. The blessing that I had been worried so I made my husband attend the doctor’s  appointment with me. The blessing that my in-laws were in town to support my husband and take care of things at home while I was in the hospital. The blessing that I had three days in the hospital waiting for Gabriel to be born so I could get a little bit of time to prepare.

I found a list that I had made around that time of things I wanted to accomplish and goals I had. Everything from "find a way to quit my job and stay home with the kids", "better relationship with my husband", "attend church more regularly", and "lose weight". There were maybe 10 things on that list. After Gabriel died I realized that every single thing on that list was brought about by Gabriel's short life and then his death.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. 

This is a conversation I will have someday with my Heavenly Father.

Me: "Really? Was that the only way to get my attention and accomplish those things?" 

I can be thankful for the growth, if not for the way it came about. And I can see that having this particular baby (Gabriel, stillborn 5/10/02 at 21 weeks) and being married to this particular man (a graphic artist/illustrator) has allowed me to do some small good in the world. I have a website to sell mementos and scrapbooking materials for families who have lost a child. I have met people I would never have met. I have a perspective of what things are important and what things are not. Gabriel has made me a more patient, sympathetic, and understanding person. 

The biggest blessing is my knowledge that families can be forever. Eternity is a small time, and our time on earth is just one quick blip of that. I think of it in this way. You know when you’re at the park and all the kids are out there running around? I’m sitting on the side and Gabriel popped in for a quick, “Hi, Mom!” and he is off again. Someday I will get to know my boy, and it is a blessing to know that.

Trust me: look up!

By Allie D.

My little boy's hair was starting to look a little shaggy, so I gave him a haircut at the kitchen table. Without the benefit of one of those smocks they have you wear at professional hair cutter places, his hair ended up all over the floor, all over the chair, all over the table, and all over him.

It was time for a bath.

Normally this little boy loves baths. He's two and a half--what's not to love about a bath? He doesn't even mind if the water is cold. Because--it's WATER!!!

But this time he was covered in hair, and that hair had to come off. Sometimes I let him go without shampooing, but this was not going to be one of those times. We needed to seriously scrub this kid's hair. If we didn't, it would be itchy and disgusting for him.

Of course, being only two and a half, he didn't understand. He glared at me while I shampooed him, but the worst was yet to come.

Rinsing is the worst.

"Look up!" I told him, but he didn't trust me. To him, it seemed that if he dared to look up, he'd get shampooey water in his eyes--when in reality, if he looked up, I could shield his eyes and protect his face as I rinsed his hair out.

After several attempts at persuasion, I finally just gave up and rinsed his hair with his face pointing downward. Yes, he got suds in his eyes. I know it couldn't have hurt that bad because it was pH-balanced baby wash that is practically meant to get in your baby's eyes. But this child raged anyway. I'm sure he felt betrayed: his darling momma intentionally got sudsy water in his eyes!

Even worse: that darling momma had told him to look into the water as she poured!

He just didn't understand.

As I dried him off, I had to wonder: how often does God tell us to look up so he can clean us, protect us, and bless us? How often do we look down instead, out of fear that instead of protecting our eyes, God will fail us and allow us to get hurt?

I know that God wants us to look up. He will always shield us and protect us if we follow His instructions. It's only when we disobey that we end up with the proverbial shampoo in our eyes. We might rage against Him while our eyes sting, but all the while He just shakes His head at us, wishing that we'd had the faith to look up the first time He asked, so He could have washed us and kept us safe.

I know that as we put out faith in God and trust Him no matter what, even the commandments we don't understand will lead to blessings in our lives.

3 Nephi 10:5-6: And again, ^ahow oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, yea, O ye people of the house of Israel, who have fallen; yea, O ye people of the house of Israel, ye that dwell at Jerusalem, as ye that have fallen; yea, how oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens, and ye would not. 

 6 O ye house of Israel whom I have ^aspared, how oft will I gather you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if ye will repent and ^breturn unto me with full purpose of ^cheart. 

How has God told you to look up? What blessings have you experienced by trusting God the first time He asks?