Everything is going to be ok. And if it is NOT ok, THAT is ok, too.

By Emily W. 

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.”  Proverbs 3: 5-6

I don't know if anyone else does this, but I pray a lot in the car, while I'm driving. I guess because it is some of the only 'quiet time' I get. And around this time I was praying a lot because I was worried. I was pregnant with my third child and I just didn't 'feel pregnant' anymore. I didn't think I was as big as I had been. I remember trying to figure out if I should call my doctor and try to get in to see him sooner, but then thinking about how that was going to mess up the weekend with my in-laws who were visiting from out of town. I decided I was going to just wait until my appointment the next week, and I was going to 'not worry until they tell me there is something to worry about.'

And I had a clear answer. The thought came to my mind very clearly that "Everything is going to be ok. And if it is NOT ok, THAT is ok, too." 

The fact was, things were ‘not ok.’ At my doctor’s appointment that next week we found out our baby had died in utero. I was admitted to the hospital and induced, and, three days later I delivered our stillborn son, Gabriel. 

Looking back, I see so many blessings a loving Heavenly Father provided for me to get through this horrible time of my life. The blessing that I had been worried so I made my husband attend the doctor’s  appointment with me. The blessing that my in-laws were in town to support my husband and take care of things at home while I was in the hospital. The blessing that I had three days in the hospital waiting for Gabriel to be born so I could get a little bit of time to prepare.

I found a list that I had made around that time of things I wanted to accomplish and goals I had. Everything from "find a way to quit my job and stay home with the kids", "better relationship with my husband", "attend church more regularly", and "lose weight". There were maybe 10 things on that list. After Gabriel died I realized that every single thing on that list was brought about by Gabriel's short life and then his death.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. 

This is a conversation I will have someday with my Heavenly Father.

Me: "Really? Was that the only way to get my attention and accomplish those things?" 

I can be thankful for the growth, if not for the way it came about. And I can see that having this particular baby (Gabriel, stillborn 5/10/02 at 21 weeks) and being married to this particular man (a graphic artist/illustrator) has allowed me to do some small good in the world. I have a website to sell mementos and scrapbooking materials for families who have lost a child. I have met people I would never have met. I have a perspective of what things are important and what things are not. Gabriel has made me a more patient, sympathetic, and understanding person. 

The biggest blessing is my knowledge that families can be forever. Eternity is a small time, and our time on earth is just one quick blip of that. I think of it in this way. You know when you’re at the park and all the kids are out there running around? I’m sitting on the side and Gabriel popped in for a quick, “Hi, Mom!” and he is off again. Someday I will get to know my boy, and it is a blessing to know that.

I have touched the future and the past.

By A. W.

On a warm September Thursday evening last year, I had the rather unexpected opportunity to assist my  daughter as she gave birth in the living room. Her stoicism and courage through that blessedly brief and safe ordeal were amazing to watch. As the sun set that afternoon, I marveled at the blessing of a healthy new granddaughter, even if her arrival was a bit more sudden than we anticipated. How joyful I felt to help and watch as my family extended one more generation. If all goes well, this beloved new little girl could live to see the twenty-second century at the grand age of 87. In some little way, I have touched the future.

Two months later I traveled to Omaha, Nebraska for Thanksgiving. While there, I visited a museum honoring the pioneers who crossed the Great Plains on their way to build a new home in the west 170 years ago. Among the artifacts protected by glass cases was a handbook for midwives. The blurb
reported that the book had been the property of a woman who helped deliver babies along the trail. Her name was Patty and, coincidentally, I recognized her as one of my own ancestors.

 Looking at her little handbook, for a moment I had a sense of her courage, dedication and patience, of the love and sisterhood she demonstrated in helping other women bring new sons and daughters into the world. I imagined her bent over in mud and cold, working with whatever she had to keep those mothers safe, warm, and comforted. I am sure she feared for every laboring woman, and worried over every new infant.

What a contrast to the pleasant sheltered room where my daughter realized that her baby was arriving on a schedule none of us had planned. We had clean water and a comfortable bed when it was over, instead of another thousand miles of hard trail. While our experiences were very different, I can imagine that Patty’s prayers and gratitude for each safe arrival were the same as mine that day. And so I felt the past touch me.

I have pondered the connection stretching between my new granddaughter and my many-greats-
grandmother through me. I don’t know what Patty looked like. We have no records of the children she delivered. I don’t know what she liked to do or the words she chose to use when she spoke. I don’t know what made her laugh. But I can imagine that she stood in awe of our Heavenly Father’s great love for us as she worked with nervous fathers and laboring mothers. Patty’s willingness to leave her home and travel west to build a new life served as a foundation for my family; her service to other women built many other families, too.

Now I hold one more little girl, another granddaughter further. Someday she will hear the story of her remarkable birth and I will tell her about another grandmother who served little children and their mothers. I am grateful for the promise that someday I will be able to meet Patty and we will be together as a family of strong and faithful women. That is the promise of being resurrected as an eternal family. That is my heart.

Malachi 4:6: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers.

How have you touched the past and the future through your family?

I delayed my fitness goals to be a mother.

By Nayeli J.

Thinking about the nets that we give up to follow our Savior, and being very pregnant now, I thought about how we give up our bodies and overall health to be able to have babies.  I had made lots of fitness and wellness goals for the last 6 months in the year 2012 before my husband I planned to go on a cruise together. Both my husband and I made great improvements in our over-all health and even into the year 2013 we were still keeping up with our goals.  One of my long term goals that I wanted to accomplish sooner than later was to become a Zumba instructor!  I love Zumba and wanted to do something for myself and share that love of dancing with others.

  Then, that summer my husband and I decided that it was the best time for us to get pregnant because if we waited, we were going to be moving across the country and my husband would be starting his residency and we knew that would be challenging with already having two little ones.  At this point, I decided to put aside my wellness and fitness goals, my feeling good about looking better and being able to be more active.  I decided that being a mother was a priority and was something that Heavenly Father wanted me to do more than anything.  Now was the best time to do it!  Going into my pregnancy I made new obtainable goals being pregnant, so that I would have a healthy pregnancy, etc.  However, because this is my third baby my joints have been so sore and I haven't been able to be as active as I would like because I'm already chasing after 2. Being 32 wks now I can hardly move and I am on partial bedrest because I was doing too much.

I know that families can be together forever and that my family is definitely a priority in our lives.  Giving up this fitness/wellness "net" to bear more children is so worth it!  Our children are so very special and unique in many ways.  I can't wait to be able to nurture, teach, and care for another little spirit that will come down from God's presence.  Now, how miraculous and wonderful is that?  I feel honored that Heavenly Father would trust me to do such a thing:)

• Matthew 4:20: And they straightway left their nets, and followed him.

Taking care of our bodies is a good thing--but it can be easy to prioritize fitness over the sacred role of motherhood. What sacrifices have you made to put the Savior's plan for families in action in your own life?