By Melissa K.
“And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom,
that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings
ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17).
One of my best friends passed away on February 22, 2014. The month of February marked the five year anniversary of our friendship.
My friend Bill was one of my dearest friends. He was not my age. In fact, he was 30 years older than me. He was 76.
Five years ago, a woman in the ward emailed the Relief Society asking if anyone would be interested in doing some housekeeping for her neighbor, Bill, who was elderly. She gave his contact info and said to contact him directly if interested. I was in need of earning some extra money, so I called Bill. We chatted briefly, agreed on a date and time to meet and talked about payment.
Early one Saturday morning I arrived at Bill's home. I was in a foul mood and dreading the appointment, and I was irritated that I had to get up early on a Saturday morning. I almost cancelled the appointment, but decided not to.
Bill and I sat in the kitchen as we introduced ourselves and he explained what he wanted me to clean. He first asked me to clean the freezer. I proceeded to clean the freezer and I assumed Bill was going to go do something else and leave me to my cleaning. But, no. He sat there in the kitchen. I remember thinking, "Oh, my word. He's going to sit here the whole time and now I have to make conversation with him. What could we possibly have to talk about? We are 30 years apart." Bill started to ask me questions, such as if I was married, if I had kids, etc. I answered his questions, and then I asked him if he had children. He learned that I had two growing children, and I learned that he had three grown children. Our conversation kept going as I was cleaning the freezer. Before I knew it, the freezer was cleaned and two hours had passed by, and much to my amazement, Bill and I were still talking and having a marvelous time. A friendship had been born. We were talking like we had been friends for years, and I left his house smiling at what had transpired in three hours. We met as strangers and parted as friends.
After that first meeting, I held regular Saturday morning appointments with Bill to clean, organize, do laundry, and grocery shop for him. I no longer dreaded our appointments. I rather looked forward to them. Sometimes I would arrive and we would talk for two hours and then I would clean. After awhile my heart started to change. It became full of love, and my helping Bill was no longer about the money, which I still needed, but that was not what motivated me to go see him. It became a joy to help and serve not only an elderly person, but my friend. We had a very deep and special friendship. He was old enough to be my father, but that's not how he treated me. And, I didn't treat him like a father. The gap in our age difference did not matter, and perhaps really doesn't matter when it comes to friendship and serving others.
Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when He put Bill in my life. I never thought of myself as a selfish person, but when I met Bill my attitude was negative and all about me. Over the last five years I am the one who has learned the most through serving my friend Bill. I learned to put aside what I was dealing with and to be of service to this man who needed help. I also learned that it's not all about me. And, my heart has become softened and full of compassion for others, and I love to serve! It brings me such great joy.
When I met Bill I knew he was on borrowed time. He was not well, and in the last two years his health had taken a turn for the worse. And, I knew that his life would end sooner rather than later. I drove to Bill's house on Saturday when I found out that he had died. I wanted to say goodbye to my friend. He was in his room. I sat with him for a few moments and caressed his arm. I thought about the five years we had together, the service I provided, and the friendship that occurred in that time. And, I can smile. I love my friend deeply, and will miss him. But I know that the service and friendship I provided to him increased his quality of life, and made his last years more comfortable. And my life has definitely been enriched as well because of this man.
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| image from lds.org |
Bill was funny. And, whenever I would ask if I had cleaned this or that to his specification, his answer was always, "It's good enough for Gaithersburg." And we would both burst out laughing. I will always cherish the time I had with this man, my friend, Bill, and the things I have learned through service.
I now clean for another elderly person, a woman, and it has been fun helping her, and getting to know her better. I look forward to our visits. I am glad that I can be of service to her, and I'm sure that I will continue to learn and grow as I serve others. Will another friendship develop? We will have to wait and see.
How has service brought you closer to others? How have you been blessed while you serve?
